Prohibition Abolition Bike Ride

It was a sunny Monday. We were only slightly hungover from the prior nights' card game when Brandy and I decided to join Kressy and Timmy for some afternoon delight on bikes. Kressy wanted to bike-bar hop to celebrate the abolition of Prohibition or something like that. It was also Billie Holiday's B'day so I thought it sounded like enough reason drink. Plus, Kressy had a brand-new-to-her "John Boy Walton" style bike to sport. So, we peddled over to Ms. Mae's and had some dollar drinks then locked up again at the Buddha Belly for burgers and booze. So what do we find as we leave?

Goddamn muther-fucking, shit-sucking, cock-stroking, bike-stealing, soul-sucking fuck knots stole mine and Brandy's bikes.....again! It's like my 3rd bike!



Mine was a nice little green and silver number. I tricked it out with that cheesy speedometer/pedometer thingy and the cup holder held a medium daiquiri cup just perfectly!

Brandy's was purple an had little stickers and a fancy top-o-tha-handlebar cup holder.

We were safely locked up to this here tree at the Buddha Belly.



Next thing you know, we're catching a fucking cab. This is all that was left.



I had my seat inside the bar with me because of my little storage pouch attached to it.



We drove around a little hoping to find them and I was hoping to have a reason to get blood on the grill of my Jeep. As God is my witness, if I ever find the fun-stealers that took our bikes......I'll be in jail.

And when you thought it couldn't get any worse, I had to go to WALMART!

UUGGHHHH!!!!!

Where is that Xanax.........