spelunking

We are refinishing our living room floors and we wanted to see what the under side of the floorboards looked like. So under the house I went. Brandy helped me spider-proof myself in Coveralls (with rubber bands around the wrists and ankles), rubber boots, gloves, goggles, a head lamp, and a classy Walmart bag tied around my head.

Found items:

3 really cool old bottles

some sort of bones that B thought weren't from an animal

1 old styrofoam Big Mac box

1 condom wrapper

3 spiders (not a problem thanks to aforementioned Walmart do-rag)

1 creepy round brick well that looked exactly like the one from "The Ring"

The old tooth we found in the closet was creepy enough. If I see some little girl with her hair hanging all in her face, it's over.

Oh, Possum!

This is the latest critter to find it's way into our yard. It was walking by our windows on the fence top. It made it to the backyard so we grabbed the flashlight. Bran had never seen one.

Now, we'll be looking for the rumored raccoon.

4 years, bitches!

Uncomfortable

I totally snagged this from DListed. This is the most perverted thing I've heard in a while.

HAPPY B'DAY KEVIN AND KEN-NAY-NAY

If I could, this is the EXACT party I would throw for the two of you.

Monday....on a Thursday

It was a simple work task. Just change a few little baby light bulbs the size of a fucking jellybean. Who knew that they can explode with the force of a hurricane.

It didn't take too long for the ringing to leave my right ear and for my eyes return from seeing nothing but the "camera flash" white sphere of light floating before me. A slight shake to remove the glass from the hair and clothing and a quick check from the good Doctor and I was back to work.

I'm done with light bulbs. They are evil.

All Clear.....BUURRRPP!!!

After 5 long days of construction guys being at our house bright and early, and now that we have all of the new windows installed and lots of other various repairs done, it's time for me to sleep in and kick it "Homer Style" around the house. No more pants for this guy!

M-I-crooked letta-crooked letta-I-crooked letta-crooked letta-I-hump back-hump back-I

Made a trip to Mississippi this weekend. Need I say that I found 3 delicious meals. One at the Pit & Cone, a BBQ and ice cream place. The sides weren't much to speak of, but I didn't come for the sides. The BBQ was something that New Orleans lacks. Maybe the ONLY food that we lack.







Next was a wonderful pork tenderloin and all the fixin's at Michaels house. We then proceded to get smashed on many many bottles of wine and a night cap of Vodka/Red Bull?????







The next day we took a ride across Tupelo, MS to Elvis Presley's birthplace. I've been a few times when I was younger, but I needed a refresher.







Yep, it was still a two-room shack. Just like I remembered it. But it was cool.







3rd meal was from the beautiful roadside Dairy Kream. A cheeseburger, some onion rings, and a milkshake that claimed to "bring everyone to the yard." Mine was a mixture of Butterscotch and Fudge as recommended by the little chubby girl taking my order thru a shoebox-sized window. I was happy. Well, happy until the toothless fah-reeks came around. Yeah, there was a total 'tard infestation but I enjoyed my milkshake nonetheless.





Dammit, I shoulda bought that Milkshake shirt.

They don't make 'em like they used to.

I've been gypped!

I thought Happy Endings were only given with a massage. Does it come with A/C repair now?