Mr. Peepers

As some of you know, Brandy and I have been raising a nasty orphan pigeon. He and his sibling were knocked out of their nest during a pigeon street fight. Sibling died and Mr Peepers (3 days old) turned into our problem. It has been nasty and messy and he's probably disease-ridden, but we've accidentally grown to love him.

We had to feed him with a syringe at first. (please note that when I say we, it mostly means Brandy)

Then, Brandy decided to teach him how to perch. I think Peepers thinks Brandy is his mama. He chases her around the balcony sticking his beak up her pajama legs. She wouldn't let me put pajama video on here. But it's funny.

He still lives on our balcony. Brandy has an opened cage out there but he only sleeps in it. He just hangs out.

Time to learn how to fly! Poor Weezy is so ready to go outside and eat that little shit!

Okay, time for some REAL flying. Sorry about the sideways video. Just tilt your head.

If I had my way, he would just come to visit on the balcony but go live somewhere else. Just be a friend-bird. We're trying to think of where he would be safe. Our neighbor who works at the Zoo says that the park is full of predatory birds that would kill him. Brandy thinks the pigeons at Cafe du Monde have it made and that he should go live there. I might take him Sunday to let him check out the Quarter. See if he likes it. See if he "belongs" there. I'll keep you posted. I'm sure you are all VERY concerned about the future of this shit-scratcher.

noo yawk

It has taken me a while but these are some pics from my New York trip. Although it was a work thang, I managed to have a little fun. Long story short.....


Met with some frame companies in really cool suites that all have free food and booze to make you buy more. It worked.

This one had a veranda and with a great view. Weather was nice, too.

Went for a run one morning where I checked out Grand Central Station, the New York Public Library (no, I didn't touch a book. I just wanted to see the building), Bryant Park, etc.

Went to see Chicago. I was impressed with the talent.






Ate at some good places. Del Frisco, Butter, Carnegie Deli (mmm!). Saw all of the touristy stuff like Radio City Music Hall, St Patrick's Cathedral, Rockefeller Center (saw a proposal on the ice skating rink), Trump Towers, The Plaza, Carnegie Hall, Times Square, Madison Square Garden, etc....






Got to go on a dinner cruise on the Hudson. They took us under the Brooklyn Bridge and right up to the Statue of Liberty. Also pretty cool.





Saw a bunch of fah-reeks in line to be on America's Got Talent. I doubt that they do.






This is me acting an ass in a limo.




Then, flashing some "ones" like a true pimp does.





I did get to go to a really cool party NY style. It reminded me a little of "Less Than Zero" in a way. Models were walking around with vodka shots and caviar which was lame at first, then it seemed not so lame after a bunch of those damn shots. And why was everyone sniffing so much? Cold? Maybe the flu?








I saw this Dawg at the show. (not my pic)




Also, shared a flight with Jane Krakowski from 30 Rock. But she will ALWAYS be Cousin Vicki from National Lampoon's Vacation to me. (again, not my pic)

.

Lastly, I tried to stalk Amy Poehler again. This was a close as I got.



And that was the short story? The End.

Get Your Tickets Now!

Kenny is officially f'ing hilarious.
i found this little gem in my email inbox this morning.



After years of perfecting their signature moves (top to bottom) Danny (a.k.a. MC Splitz), Chris (a.k.a. Krazy Yo), and Marcel (a.k.a. Sir Spin It Up),collectively known by their break dance crew name, "Three Deep", are about to "kick" off their first ever stateside tour. Coming soon to a youth center or skate park near you. Picture inset. "Three Deep" execute their show stopper "The Totem Pizzizole".



you may recognize the middle picture from the Easter pics.

Kenny, YOU IS A FOOL!!! and i loves it.

Krazy Yo

Prohibition Abolition Bike Ride

It was a sunny Monday. We were only slightly hungover from the prior nights' card game when Brandy and I decided to join Kressy and Timmy for some afternoon delight on bikes. Kressy wanted to bike-bar hop to celebrate the abolition of Prohibition or something like that. It was also Billie Holiday's B'day so I thought it sounded like enough reason drink. Plus, Kressy had a brand-new-to-her "John Boy Walton" style bike to sport. So, we peddled over to Ms. Mae's and had some dollar drinks then locked up again at the Buddha Belly for burgers and booze. So what do we find as we leave?

Goddamn muther-fucking, shit-sucking, cock-stroking, bike-stealing, soul-sucking fuck knots stole mine and Brandy's bikes.....again! It's like my 3rd bike!



Mine was a nice little green and silver number. I tricked it out with that cheesy speedometer/pedometer thingy and the cup holder held a medium daiquiri cup just perfectly!

Brandy's was purple an had little stickers and a fancy top-o-tha-handlebar cup holder.

We were safely locked up to this here tree at the Buddha Belly.



Next thing you know, we're catching a fucking cab. This is all that was left.



I had my seat inside the bar with me because of my little storage pouch attached to it.



We drove around a little hoping to find them and I was hoping to have a reason to get blood on the grill of my Jeep. As God is my witness, if I ever find the fun-stealers that took our bikes......I'll be in jail.

And when you thought it couldn't get any worse, I had to go to WALMART!

UUGGHHHH!!!!!

Where is that Xanax.........

sniff sniff

For Erin

DOOGIE HOWSER.

THE ORIGINAL BLOGGER.

Easter. What had happened was.....

Okay. I'm a little late but it was a long day so bear with me.

Beaster Sunday started kinda nice. I decided to wear my white pants against my better judgement and against Kirsten's recommendation. When else would I ever wear them?



So we popped a cork of bubbly for breakfast, had a nice toast to Jesus, and headed to Harrah's Casino for our Easter Brunch Buffet w/complementary Champagne from 11:00 to 2:45 (or a little later if you make friends with Scookeesha).



So, let's think for a while about how we should burn off all of the calories from the mashed potatoes with gravy, the side of lard, and the whatever-stuffed whatevers......

Hey, I know!



TWO, THREE, FOUR! DANCE IT OFF!!!!!







Feeling better now, I fluff Brandy's corsage and my boutonniere (that I made from ribbons and marshmallow Peeps) and we proceed to the Chart Room where we drank many splits of champagne, met some characters, watched Brandy spill 2 drinks, got free jukebox money, and somehow obtained a fake flower bouquet.




I may have the order wrong, but I remember Timmy and Brandy stopping to buy street meat from some black lady with a cart full of meat pies. Gross. I'm still baffled that she told me not to publish the picture I took of her because she was "copyrighted." WTF?



Wait! Random pole dance!



We had more cham-pain at Good Friends. The balcony seemed like a good place to check messages, take pics of drag queens, or pass out for a few minutes.





I was happy to meet up with Laurie, baby Allie, and friends (dressed in full homemade furry bunny outfits) so I could play with my baby gurl. She ate my Peeps.



As far as the rest of the night went, RANDOM POLE DANCE!!!!



We went to places that we do not talk of, did things we do not talk of, and came home with tips that Timmy won't talk of. Somehow, T and I found the car and I could actually operate it enough to drive down Canal Street to pick up poor Brandy from the corner where we left her with blisters on both pinkie toes. Good thing that Mexican boy was there to keep her company and try to take her back to his casa for some el sexo.

Next year, B and I have decided we had better go to church or something to try and balance out the debauchery from this year. I'm okay with that. As long as we get outta church in time to get to Harrah's.

Just a bunch of Easter garb.

Happy Easter to all......2 of you.

We are heading to the FQ today for our classy annual Harrah's Casino champagne brunch. Then, we might catch Chris Owen's Easter Parade if it rolls into our path. We will definitely be catching the Gay Easter Parade to see all of the lovely easter bonnets. I was thinking about wearing white pants but this usually turns into a big drunk fest and I don't want to come home looking like a brown gutter-turd. I had better not.

Here is a bunch of crap that seems really funny right now because I may still be a little drunk from last night. And typing is kinda hard.

Dyed eggs at Timmy's last night. Good times.



This is my plaid egg, Tommy Hilsadder.



you might remember this.



well, this is the prequel.



Enjoy the Peep Show.



And, lastly, a Jesus rap.

Easter Jesus Music Video


I hope you all find the golden egg today.

squirrel relocater